Scientists now
believe romantic love may be universal. But not approved of universally by the
tribe (cohort). For some human societies, it is equated with sickness and social
impairment. It is not at all clear that passionate love nurtures long-term
relationships in spite of the ballads’ pledge of now and forever. Certainly, the
dopamine drenched state of romantic love is a natural high, second to none. But
after climax what is there? When lovers who have the virtue of constancy say it
ended; they do not mean it is the end their relationship. But, it does mean that
they have returned to a less dopamine dominated state other than euphoria.
Does it mean that boredom and the dullness of a meaningless existence
have taken over? Not for those who have become attached by way of the effects of
oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone that promotes a feeling of connection, yes!
Bonding. Ah! There’s the rub, or, maybe a massage? Oxytocin is released when we
hug our long-term spouses, or our children. Oxytocin is believed to be abundant
in both partners in a long-term relationship. In long term relationships that
have never achieved a mutually-felt bonding, chances are that the couple has not
found the way to stimulate and sustain oxytocin production.
A couple can
help it along by frequent hugs, loving touches pats and massage. Such touching
makes one feel closer to the partner. Perhaps, a course of treatment with
oxycontin would have turned their love into something more like friendship. But
that is speculation. Can we find the chemical to inject into the stalker so he
will be released from his obsession and return to a normal state?